


Holding Back

by ramonaspeaks



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Coming Untouched, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, One Shot, Skype Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 21:22:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2596865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramonaspeaks/pseuds/ramonaspeaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan asks Phil to teach him how to give a blow job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding Back

The silence wasn’t awkward. At least, that’s what Dan was telling himself. You couldn’t spend hours on Skype every night without there being moments when you both stop speaking. He was learning that you didn’t have to fill every lull in the conversation. He was learning patience.   
  
He was learning how to dig his nails into his palms outside of the view of his webcam because Phil still hadn’t answered him.   
  
When Dan took this long to respond to a question, it was because he was trying to think of an appropriate lie. He reassured himself that Phil was the type of person to hesitate because he wanted to choose his words carefully.   
  
“I didn’t _not_ want to have sex,” Phil finally said. “I mean, yeah, I did but it isn’t a big deal. There’s no reason for that tortured expression.”   
  
Dan nodded and tried to laugh but it didn’t quite come out. “It’s just that people keep asking me if we did. It’s the first thing most of my friends ask.”  
  
“That’s rude. What’d you say?”   
  
“I tell them that I’m sorry they missed the live broadcast of it on blogtv.”   
  
“Perfect response.” Phil smiled at him and then moved his laptop onto his bed so that it wouldn’t burn his thighs. “I would just say that I’ve still got you pinned to my wall.”   
  
“We’ve been over this. Cardboard cut-outs aren’t real people, even when you attach a fleshlight.”   
  
“Ugh.” Phil laughed. “Thanks for that image.”   
  
“What do you say?” Dan asked. “Like, actually.”   
  
“No one asks. My friends know that I wouldn’t answer.”   
  
“Right.” Dan began picking lint off his sheets, hoping Phil would say something else if he kept quiet. He only lasted through a few seconds of silence. “What _should_ I tell them?”   
  
“Whatever you like.” Phil shrugged. “Tell them we had sex. Tell them we’re just friends, or that it’s none of their business, or just go with the truth. It’s up to you.”   
  
_The truth,_ Dan thought. He wasn’t entirely sure how to define receiving a hand job underneath a blanket as they’d sat together on Phil’s sofa, and getting each other off without even removing any clothes later that night, and seeing Phil naked through his computer screen countless times since returning home. He knew the textbook definitions for what they’d done, and he knew the internet lingo, and he couldn’t even begin to imagine how awkward it’d be to talk about Phil using any of those terms with his friends.   
  
“I’ll just avoid answering them,” Dan said and looked down, embarrassed. “Sorry. I’ll stop waffling on about this. I know you weren’t asking for a serious conversation when you texted me to come on Skype.”   
  
Phil blushed and shook his head. “We can keep talking.”   
  
“No, I want to.” Dan couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he pulled his shirt over his head. “Your text was the best part of my day, honest.”   
  
Getting off with Phil had become a pattern that Dan didn’t want to discourage. On the rare nights when he didn’t get a text from Phil, his fingers were always hovering above the “send” button on his phone, itching for the courage to ask himself. He couldn’t even think about anyone else at this point. Even when he was alone, it was still Phil’s face that came to mind and Phil’s name that he bit back. Dan wanted to tell him that but he was too nervous to say it, so he just stood up to take the rest of his clothes off.   
  
When he sat back down on his bed, Phil was already naked and leaning against his pillows with half-closed eyes. His feet were planted on either side of his laptop and Dan groaned at the view he was getting. It was always a disappointment when Phil waited until he’d gotten hard before moving into a position where Dan could watch. He loved seeing Phil get started, the way he’d rub in slow downward motions until he was stiff and swollen.   
  
Dan got on his knees as he stroked himself and he could see Phil raise his eyebrows slightly at the new position.   
  
“If I fingered myself, would that be a turn off for you?” Dan asked.   
  
He’d already guessed at Phil’s response based on his expression, but Dan had discovered early on that questions were the best way to get Phil to talk and there really wasn’t anything that made Dan hard like listening to Phil’s voice.   
  
“God, no.” Phil’s hand stilled and tightened around the base of his cock for a moment. He was building himself up, prolonging things. “I’ve wanted to ask, I mean, not _ask_ like request, sorry. I’ve wanted to know if you did that.”   
  
“Yeah, I like it.” Dan’s voice broke off in a moan as he started. He tried to slow his hand down, taking note of Phil’s earlier actions, but gave up. “Fuck, I can’t ever hold back like you.”   
  
“You’re eighteen. You’d have to handcuff yourself to the bed to stop wanking once you get started.”   
  
“If you’re into that, you can just ask next time.”   
  
Phil laughed. “No, I like watching this. I want, god, I want to do that to you myself though.”   
  
“Yeah?” He moved even faster at the thought of Phil’s fingers inside of him, stretching him, pushing in deep and fucking him, crooking at just the right spot and… _shit, shit.  
  
_ Dan moaned and squeezed his eyes shut as he came in his hand. He let out a small laugh even as he worked himself through his high, feeling a little embarrassed even though Phil never seemed bothered that Dan always came first. He knew that he’d have more control if it wasn’t his first wank of the day, but he liked waiting for Phil. It was always so much better with him.   
  
“Sorry,” Dan breathed out. “I guess that was too nice of a thought.”   
  
“Fuck.” Phil’s free hand gripped his hair. “You want me to finger you?”   
  
Dan blushed, more aware of what they were saying now that he’d finished, but they always said things like this when they were getting off and he knew Phil wouldn’t hold him to any of it later.   
  
“Yeah,” he answered in a low voice. “I want to be on my hands and knees for you. I want you to make me beg for it, to get me close and make me feel so good that I beg you to fuck me.”   
  
Phil practically choked. “Oh, god.”   
  
It was a rush, whispering dirty things to Phil when he was hours away and unable to take him up on his offers, but in this moment Dan wasn’t sure why they were waiting. As he watched Phil move his hand over his cock, teasing himself and then giving a few firm pulls, Dan really just wanted to touch him. Maybe they wouldn’t have sex the next time they were together, but Dan wanted to taste that pink tip, wanted to feel it at the back of his throat.   
  
“I want to suck you off.” Dan tried to use same sultry voice as before but could barely get the words out now that he meant them. “But I don’t want to be awful at it. I want you to teach me how to make it feel good.”   
  
Phil moaned and arched up into his hand. “You’ll be good at it, don’t worry. Your mouth… _fuck_.”  
  
Dan grinned at that and he knew Phil was thinking of his lips around his cock as he began to shake and work through his orgasm. Phil wouldn’t bring this up the next time they were together, but Dan was going to try to find the courage. He really wanted this to happen.   
  
——  
  
Dan was nervous, but it was definitely nervous-excited.   
  
He’d been rehearsing various speeches on the train ride but they all sounded stupid once Phil was actually standing in front of him, holding his hand and smiling and offering to carry his bag upstairs. He decided that this wasn’t the moment for speeches and just blurted it out as soon as they sat down together on Phil’s sofa.   
  
“I want to give you a blow job.” Dan closed his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to face the reaction. “If you want, I mean.”   
  
“Right now?” Phil asked.   
  
Dan laughed and opened his eyes. All of his worrying and planning, and that was all it took. He nodded and climbed onto Phil’s lap, straddling him and wrapping his arms around his neck. “I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about it.”   
  
“Okay.” Phil sounded a little uncertain. “You’re sure that you’re ready? We can stop if you don’t like it.”   
  
Dan wondered what it was about self-restraint that was so goddamn sexy. He wasn’t sure when he would have sex with Phil, but he was willing to bet it would be about ten seconds after Phil insisted that he was fine with just cuddling all night.   
  
“Trust me, I’m ready.” Dan cupped Phil’s face in his hands and looked into his eyes. He didn’t want Phil to think he wasn’t confident about this. He was nervous, but there were no doubts in his mind. “You’ll show me what to do, right?”   
  
Phil paused for a moment, but then nodded and pulled away to take his shirt off. Dan bit down on his lip and tried to keep his focus. It was so easy to lose his train of thought when Phil was casually taking his clothes off and pushing his hands up Dan’s shirt to rub circles into the small of his back. He took a breath and put his hands on Phil’s chest, not quite sure where to begin.   
  
“How do you get started?” Dan asked. “I mean, how do you get yourself hard when you’re gonna pull one off?”   
  
Phil gave a shocked laugh. “You just watched last night.”   
  
“Please?” Dan looked at down at his hands. “Will you please help me through this because it’s kind of important to me that I’m not awful.”   
  
“You won’t be. Okay.” Phil leaned back against the sofa cushions, making himself more comfortable. “Start outside my jeans.”  
  
Dan felt his heart start pounding as he slid off Phil’s lap and settled onto his knees on the floor. He pushed Phil’s legs apart so that he could run his hands up his thighs and begin to knead at his crotch. Phil wasn’t hard yet and Dan wanted to know how that was even possible, and how many more years he’d be waiting for that kind of self-control. Dan had started to get hard as soon as Phil took his shirt off and he was aching by now, using all of his will power to resist unzipping his own jeans as he massaged Phil.   
  
“You feel so good.” Phil let his head fall back and closed his eyes.   
  
“What do you think about?”   
  
“I’ve got you kneeling on the floor in front of me and you think I need to rely on fantasies?”   
  
Dan laughed. “That’s really sweet, and just a little kinky.”   
  
“I think about you a lot, Dan.”   
  
“About fucking me?” Dan could feel his face flushing. “You think about that when you’re getting off.”  
  
“Yeah.” Phil exhaled slowly. “Well, not just that. Sometimes it’s just the expression when you start to come, the noises you make, that stuff.”   
  
Dan could feel Phil getting harder and he wished that he was naked by now because he wanted to watch it happen. He pressed his palm between Phil’s legs again, cupping around him and rotating his hand in circles.   
  
“Take my jeans off.”   
  
Dan almost groaned at the way Phil had taken to this coaching role. His voice was soft but authoritative and Dan’s cock was throbbing from it. He forced himself to concentrate, pulling Phil’s jeans and boxers down to his ankles and then looking back up at him. “Is that–”  
  
“Yeah, that’s fine, just leave them.” Phil looked down at him. “You all right?”  
  
Dan just hummed in agreement, focusing his attention on Phil’s cock because it was the first time he’d actually seen it up close and _fuck,_ he was gorgeous. Dan leaned over him and wrapped his lips around the head, pressing his tongue flat against him and licking before pulling away to give Phil a questioning look.   
  
“God, yeah, that’s perfect, keep doing that.” Phil closed his eyes and leaned back again. “You can use your hands at the same time when your mouth is at the top.”   
  
Dan nodded and followed his instructions, licking at Phil’s tip while moving his hand up and down him. He sucked down further to get him wet enough for his hand to move easily and Phil moaned. Every time he made a noise like that, Dan’s cock ached to be touched but he pressed on, ignoring the urge and taking more of Phil into his mouth.   
  
Dan pulled away to breathe. “Am I doing this right?”  
  
Phil leaned over him and kissed the top of his head. “God, Dan, it’s so good. You don’t have to take it so far back though. It’s okay if you want to go easy.”   
  
Dan frowned in confusion. “I like going down further. Is that not–”   
  
“It feels _incredible_ , but doesn’t it make you gag?”   
  
“No, it’s been fine.” Dan tried to hold back a smirk. He couldn’t help feeling pleased with himself. “Guess you’re just lucky.”   
  
He started sucking Phil’s cock again, taking it in deeper, exhilarated that he seemed to be good at this. He felt Phil’s hand on the back of his head and moaned around him. Dan hoped he would push him down. He wanted to feel Phil hit the back of his throat and _make_ him gag, but Phil just entwined his fingers in Dan’s hair and held onto him, letting Dan keep control of how far he went.   
  
Dan began to go up and down, licking Phil’s slit and then sinking lower each time.   
  
“Fuck,” Phil whimpered. “God, you’re right. I am really _fucking_ lucky.”   
  
Dan flushed again, feeling a warm rush go through him. Phil’s hand was still in his hair and he was gripping and pulling at it now, and Dan felt his cock twitching each time. His hips were starting to move against his will, bucking into the air in search of _something_ and as much as Dan wanted to ignore his own desires right now, he could tell that he was getting close. He licked up Phil’s cock and heard him curse again. Phil clenched his hand in Dan’s hair and it felt amazing, almost _too_ good.  
  
“Shit, _oh shit_.” Dan pulled his mouth off Phil’s cock and leaned his head against the sofa as he started to come in his pants. He pressed his hand against the outside of his jeans to palm himself, but it was only to ride out the last wave of pleasure that hit him. He laughed weakly. “Fuck. Sorry.”   
  
“It’s fine.” Phil put his hands on Dan’s face and pulled him up into a passionate kiss. He slipped his tongue into Dan’s mouth and licked against the inside of his top lip before moving away. “Dan, I remember being eighteen. You’re fine.”   
  
Dan laughed again and nodded, feeling grateful that he was with Phil because he knew that he would never laugh at him. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath before settling back on his knees, more determined than ever. He ran his tongue against Phil’s cock and used both of his hands to squeeze his balls gently. Phil made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded like a low growl.   
  
“That feels really good. You can go behind them, if that’s not too–”  
  
Phil’s words were cut off in a moan as Dan pressed his fingers underneath his balls and began massaging there. Phil unconsciously lifted his hips off the sofa in response to the feeling, and Dan groaned as he felt his cock push deeper inside of his mouth. He was practically hitting his throat now. Dan swallowed around him and tried to breathe through his nose, not wanting to pull away for even a second now that he’d gotten Phil so close.   
  
“I’m almost there.” Phil gasped and let go of Dan’s hair. “If you want to stop.”   
  
Dan felt his pulse speed up because he wasn’t sure if he would like this part, but he really wanted to try it. He loved the idea of Phil coming in his mouth, so he continued sucking up and down and massaging him as Phil started to cry out. Dan took him as far as he could so that Phil spurted directly down his throat when he started to come. He couldn’t taste much this way but he could feel it happening as Phil’s cock pulsed in his mouth. He swallowed again and then pulled off, using his hands to gently position him because he knew how sensitive he’d be right now.   
  
Phil exhaled loudly and Dan looked up at him. His cheeks were bright red and his hair was sticking to his forehead and Dan had never seen him look so completely blissed out.  
  
“Can we do that about twenty more times this weekend?” Dan asked and then let out a short croaky laugh. “On second thought, I might not have brought enough clothes.”   
  
Phil laughed and stood so that he could pull his jeans back up. Then he reached a hand down to help Dan to his feet, pulling him into a hug. “If you’re saying the downside is that you might spend the rest of the weekend without any clothes to wear, then I’m not seeing a downside. But I’ll need at least a couple hours.”   
  
Dan tried to hold back his smile. “I don’t think I’ll need that long.”   
  
“I believe you.” Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and gave it a tug. “Come on. Let’s go to my room and put on a dvd. We’ll see if you can make it through an entire movie before jumping me again.”   
  
“Shut up.” Dan rolled his eyes but laughed anyway. “Just make it a short one.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in response to several anonymous prompts on tumblr.


End file.
